This Is What Synergy Looks Like In That Abomination Of A Jem Movie

August 11, 2015 / Posted by:

Reminder: This is what Syngery looked like in the Jem and the Holograms cartoon.


My thoughts exactly, Jem. Cry time, Synergy!

The newest trailer for the blasphemous and hurtful Jem and the Holograms movie was shat up onto the Internet today and for the first time we see what Synergy looks like. They took an iris and pupil-free digital goddess and turned her into some discount PC-only webcam your auntie bought on clearance at Brookstone for you for Christmas. Synergy is now just some cheap ass home movie projector. How can they turn a work of art into that crap? It’s as if someone showed you a lump of cold shit and told you that was their interpretation of Monet’s “Water Lilies.”


It feels like the makers of this cinematic bullet headed straight for the heart of 80s childhoods heard everyone scream, “THIS IS NOT MY JEM!“, after the first diarrhea puddle of a trailer was released and so they did some quick re-shoots to Jem-ify it more. It still looks like an ABC Family movie that was made for 12-year-old One Direction fans who have no idea what a Jem is.

The makers of this should be arrested and tried for the first-degree murders of Jem and Synergy!

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