Benedict Cumberbatch Schools The Cumberbitches On How To Act Right In The Theater

August 10, 2015 / Posted by:

The clit boner-inducer of Tumblr, Bendydick Cumsinsnatches, is playing the title role in a production of Hamlet at the Barbican Centre in London and even though some of the reviews say to skip it, it has already sold out, because Cumberbitches will sell the internal organs of their children to breathe in the same air as their god. But well, apparently some of the Cumberbitches aren’t giving the holy walls of the THI-TURR the respect it deserves and are acting like pieces of trash by taking pictures of The Alien Lizard King while he’s trying to do serious acting stuff.

The BBC posted a video of B. Cums giving his fans, who were waiting outside the stage door, a quick lesson in theater etiquette after a performance of Hamlet. B. Cums let them know that taking pictures is seriously distracting and he wants all of them to tell their fellow Cumberbitches to not act a mess in the theater.

“I can see cameras in the auditorium. It may not be any of you here but it’s blindingly obvious. It’s mortifying and there’s nothing that’s less supportive or enjoyable as an actor on stage experiencing that.

What I really want to do is try and enlist you. I don’t use social media and I’d really appreciate it if you did tweet, blog, hashtag the shit out of this one for me.”

Some of those Cumberbitches are rude as all hell, but they are pretty talented. It’s impressive that they’re able to take pictures, rub their genitals raw and hyperventilate at the same time while watching B. Cums act.

B. Cums went on to say that the theater is going to crack down on picture takers and are bringing in “devices” that can detect phones. Any whore caught taking pictures will be kicked out of the theater.

“I don’t want that to happen, that’s a horrible way to have to police what’s a wonderful thing. This isn’t me blaming you, this is just me asking you to ripple it out there in the brilliant beautiful way that you do with your funny electronic things. I’d really appreciate it.”

I wonder what kind of “devices” they’re going to install. My guess is that they’re going to put an animatronic Patti LuPone scarecrow in front of the front row. The animatronic Patti LuPone scarecrow will be able to tell when a rude bitch raises their cell phone and it will knock it out of their hands by throwing a chancleta at it. Every theater should really have one.

Here’s the video of B. Cums laying down the picture-taking law:

Wow. The audacity of the Cumberbitches in that video. While he’s giving them a lesson on taking pictures in the theater, they take pictures with flash! Don’t they know that a flash can scare the shit out of a lizard? Way to disrespect and harm their idol!

Pic: Splash

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