Send them to the gallows for this!
Poor Princess Charlotte. First, she was forced to wear her brother’s old, used lace gown to her christening and then she was forced to pose in a family portrait without Prince Hot Ginge. I see her “Why me?” head tilt in that picture. I know it well, because I do that when it’s 9pm on a Saturday night and I realize I drank the last bottle of wine in the house. Prince Hot Ginge was in Africa doing charity work, so he wasn’t able to make his royal niece’s induction into the Haus of Jesus, but that’s still no excuse for him not being in the portrait.
Between her hand waving duties and brushing her velvet locks 200 times a day, Duchess Kate could’ve taken a quick graphic design class at the London branch of The Learning Annex (They have that, right?) and Photoshopped PHG into that picture. Like this:
And I don’t even have a certificate in graphic design from the London branch of The Learning Annex. Surprising, I know. If you’re wondering why Jude Law is in that family portrait, that’s not Jude Law. It’s Duchess Kate’s brother. I know, I hardly recognized him without that hot French maid costume on his body.
Here’s more pictures, taken by Mario Testino, from Kensington Palace’s Twitter account of Princess Charlotte’s christening day. I’m slow clapping for Prince George smiling at the camera like, “Haha, I’ve got more hair than my daddy.”