Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 25, 2015 / Posted by:

James Huling, the hillbilly Asian from Big Brother 17!

The 17th season of Big Brother US happened last night and they really mixed shit up and went totally diverse when casting it. Ha. No, the Big Brother house is still filled to the top with a bunch of young, white people, but sprinkled in there is a black woman, a transgender woman and a miniature hillbilly Asian from South Carolina! James was adopted by a family of hillbillies in South Carolina, so he’s like an Asian dude who was possessed by the soul of a Duck Dynasty cast member (sans all that gay-hating trash, I think). He’s into hunting, fishing and camo.

James lives in Wichita Falls, TX now, has a kid and works in retail. Taylor Swift is his dream girl, so that should tell you everything you need to know about him. James kind of looks like my dad, but when he opens his mouth, he sounds like he’s voiced by Sugar Bear from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. I love it. I’m surprised TLC hasn’t given him a show. They probably looked at his background and said, “Eh, no major criminal record and seems mentally stable. NEXT!” But James does have a mug shot, which he got after he was arrested for contempt of family court in Sumter County, SC.

Looking like he got attacked by bees while plastered.

And you probably didn’t read any of the words above, because you either went temporarily blind or your contacts caught on fire from looking at those CAMO CROCS on his feet. CAMO CROCS! Camo Crocs are like Satan’s caca drizzled with Satan’s vomit. CAMO CROS are my KNOTTY PINE! Maybe James is really, really smart and those camo Crocs are part of his strategy. Maybe he thinks that he if wears them all the time, their powers of fugness will make the others violently ill and they’ll have to leave the house. No, probably not. Besides, based on a few of the outfits worn last night, some of the houseguests probably think those camo Crocs are cute. Dark-sided!

Mug shot via Rickey.org

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