Janet Jackson Serves Up A Slow Jam For Your Ears

June 22, 2015 / Posted by:

Detective La Toya Jackson’s less beautiful and talented sister Janet Jackson has already released dates for her world tour and her plans for a new album, and today she kept her big comeback going by slurring out her first song since 2008. I won’t be surprised if Janet goes all the way with her great big comeback by signing on to a sequel to Poetic Justice called Poeticer Justice starring the Tupac of our time, Chet Haze, of course.

Janet’s new song “No Sleep” was produced by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis and it sort of sounds like “That’s The Way Love Goes” if “That’s The Way Love Goes” got drunk on plum wine, smoked a joint and busted a nut or two while taking a Calgon bath. Shit should be called “Put You To Sleep,” because it’s very, very chill. It’s a classic Janet Jackson slow jam made with Viagra-infused Ambien and a giant dollop of the whispers.

And I’m sure that by 2am tomorrow morning, it’ll be the most used song in every strip club’s champagne room, because it’s definitely the kind of song a pussy popper can slow pop her pussy to.

Here’s JJ with her billionaire husband at LAX last week.

Pics: Splash

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: [email protected]

alt="drupal analytics" >