Hot Slut Of The Day!

Sun Country Wine Coolers from the glittery-covered magical world of the 80s!

Since I’m in the American homeland of fine wines (Side note: Why do people look at you sideways when you drink from the spill bucket after each tasting? Wasteful bitches!), I’ve been thinking about one of the finest alcoholic beverages ever made.

Sun Country wine coolers came out during the golden era of wine coolers in the 80s. They were sent off to the sweet nectar graveyard sometime in the 90s after that bitch Zima took many wine coolers out. Since my mother is more elegant and conservative, her wine cooler brand of choice was Bartles & Jaymes. But one of her best friends kept it real and drank Sun Country. She drank straight from the 2 liter plastic bottle, because why bother with cups? She would let me take a sip every now and again. Once that Sun Country nectar touched my tongue for the first time, my palate was cleansed and I got a taste of true exquisite deliciousness. I don’t remember what it tasted like, but I’m sure it tasted like sugar-filled peach lotion mixed with peroxide. In other words, delicious and refreshing.

And the geniuses responsible for Sun Country’s marketing were the greatest ad people of all-time. Not only did they put Grace Jones in their ads and commercials, but they did this:

Deep in the VIP area of heaven’s special place is a door with a diamond-framed gold plate on it and on that gold plate are the words “Reserved For The Genius Who Came Up With The Idea To Put Charo In The Sun Country Polar Bear Costume.”

If you asked every Plushie what their first fap material was, most of them would probably say, “Charo in the Sun Country Polar Bear costume.“