The “Way Too PC” Kids Are Keeping Jerry Seinfeld From Playing Colleges

June 9, 2015 / Posted by:

It’s a good thing that Jerry Seinfeld doesn’t need to play colleges for extra cash since he can just squat, spread his cheeks and shit some out into his solid gold toilet. Jerry Seinfeld says that, like Chris Rock, he doesn’t really take his act to colleges, he doesn’t want to deal with the politically correct college students who will call for a boycott on his ass and start petitions over the ~edgy~ and ~ohSOoffensive~ jokes (you know, the kind of jokes he’s known for) that fly out of his mouth during his set. Jerry wants all the PC kids to get off his lawn.

While whoring out the new season of his web series, Comedian In Cars Getting Coffee, during an ESPN radio interview with Colin Cowherd, Jerry said that he doesn’t do his stand-up act for the college crowd and he’s not really looking to, because other comedians have told him that kids these days are way too pearl clutchy. Jerry said that even his 14-year-old daughter is getting credits toward becoming a member of the PC Police Force.

“I don’t play colleges, but I hear a lot people tell me ‘Don’t go near colleges They’re so PC.’

Hey, I’ll give you an example. My daughter is 14. My wife says to her, ‘Well, you know, in the next couple of years, I think maybe you’re going to want to be hanging around the city more on the weekends, so you can see boys.’ You know what my daughter says? She says, ‘that’s sexist.’ They just want to use these words.

And you know what my daughter says? She says ‘that’s sexist.’ They just want to use these words.‘That’s racist. That’s sexist. That’s prejudice.’ They don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.”

Jerry went on to say that he does feel like “political correctness” is hurting comedy.

Some people go way overboard with being offended and my inbox can co-sign that. I once got an email from someone who told me to stop referring to cats as “pussies” because it’s degrading and somebody else once told me to stop calling people “pieces of shit” because it’s the most disgusting insult you can call someone. (Correction: The most disgusting insult you can call someone is “Kardashian.”) But what I want to know is, who in the hell thinks Jerry Seinfeld is offensive and edgy? I watched one of his stand-up comedy specials once and he made Rita Rudner look like Lenny Bruce. Jerry could probably play PCU (Politically Correct University) and be okay. Don’t get me wrong, I was still HIGHLY offended after I watched his special, because he barely cursed and I am a true believer that curse words are beautiful and you should use them as much as possible. Fuck.

And Jerry won’t play colleges, but I bet he’d play a high school if they asked. I mean, he could meet his next girlfriend there.

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