The First Trailer For The Final “Hunger Games” Movie Is Here

I know I could have grabbed literally any screen shot from the first trailer for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2, but I decided to go with this one for two reasons:

1. Elizabeth Banks, as always, looks like she’s wearing something the costume department found in a box of my old skating carnival costumes. The only thing missing is a pair of thick orange Mondor over-the-boot tights and some lazy choreography to Glass Tiger’s “Rescued (By The Arms Of Love).”

2. It sort of looks like Katniss is wearing black UGG boots. I feel like at any minute, Britney Spears is going to pop out from behind one of those curtains with a sharpened Slim Jim and be like “Surprise, y’all! Gimme them boots. I’m going to the Capitol tonight and I wanna look classy.”

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2 doesn’t come out till the end of November, which means this will probably be the first of at least 2,394 trailers that will be released. And for something that will surely be the first of many, they sure do cover a lot of ground. It’s a real garage sale mish-mash full of Hunger Games imagery: there’s a wedding, a rally, Katniss looking sad, Katniss looking confused, guns, a fancy-ass dinner party hosted by Jack Bauer’s dad, Katniss looking worried, Woody from Cheers in a really bad wig, a mudslide that looks like Hexxus from Fern Gully (speaking of Tim Curry). It’s probably best not to play any kind of drinking game while watching this trailer, because there’s so much random shit in it, you will be drunk off your ass by the time it’s done.

Sadly, it appears the only person not in this trailer for THG:MP2 is real-life dystopian future times teen Jaden Smith. Four movies, and they couldn’t once offer him a walk-on or a non-speaking role? He would have been so perfect for it!