Open Post: Hosted By Matt Boner’s Nipples In Hawaii

May 20, 2015 / Posted by: Michael K

Today we’ve covered the Duggars and the syphilis rash on humanity’s right ass cheek, so I figured we could use an industrial-strength palate cleanser. So here’s one in the form of come-to-life vintage Talking Ken Doll Matt Bomer turning the world on with his nipples while struttin’ that ass in Maui with his husband Simon Halls. You may think that it took Warren Beatty’s Shampoo character, a blow dryer, a flat iron, a couple of Coke cans, a diluted Ogilvie home perm, a bottle of Dippity Doo gel and a dream to make Matt Boner’s hair look like that of a prom king in an 80s movie, but I’m sure he just wakes up and puts a little water in it. (I knew this dude whose hair always looked perfect and one time I asked him what he put in it and he said, “Oh, nothing, just a little water.” Yes, a little water and a whole lot of LIES.)

And I don’t know if that’s a dick-shaped air bubble or if Matt Boner’s got a really long peen that’s shaped like a conjoined carrot. Either way I’d hit it until it fell off and even then, I’d keep hitting it.

Pics: FameFlynet

Tags: Open Post

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: [email protected]