Who Is April’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

May 5, 2015 / Posted by:

I didn’t think Thrifty’s Chocolate Malted Krunch ice cream could look more delicious until I put it right under a picture of an 80-year-old porn star’s poon.

So far, we’ve got 2 pussies and a Swede in the Hot Slut of the Year finals (Side note: I’d totally watch a show called 2 Pussies and a Swede.) and now it’s time to choose the next Hot Slut of the Month who will battle it out with them. This month is a motley crew of hot fuckery. That picture right there looks like the most fucked-up Pinterest board. As with every month, three of the finalists are the ones with the most Facebook likes and the fourth one is my “wild card” pick.

Here’s your choices and it’s not hard to know which one is the wild card. If they sneeze bronzer, have a drawer in their bathroom filled with nothing but vajazzle tattoos and wear 10 pounds of face paint on a light day, they’re probably the wild card pick.

1. Shirley Andrews – The 80-year-old porn star whose got “Gang Bang Queen” tattooed on her tit.

2. Pazazz, the line of now dead glamorous hair products from the 80s that added a touch of metallic elegance to your locks.

3. Thrifty’s Chocolate Malted Krunch ice cream  – Crack in a cone.

4. Queen Gina – Lawyer, star of The Real Housewives of Melbourne and the most gorgeous goddess in Australia.

Voting is below. The winner will be announced on Friday. And now I’m off to get some Chocolate Malted Krunch and yes, I’ll think of that picture when I bite into the little white balls.


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