Hot Slut Of The Day!

It is Cinco de Mayo, so today’s HSOTD should really be the hungry-ass Arcoiris mascot or the legendary 90s novella Carrusel. But I really need to pay homage to the best Met Gala dress and the only one that really did things to me. (Yes, I’m so hard-up that a soft, pink dick illustration on a damn dress does things to me.)

Just like 90% of the tricks there, FKA Twigs pretty much said, “fuck it,” to the theme. If you’re going to say, “fuck it,” to the theme, then you should at least say “hello” to wearing dick on your dress. Dick makes everything better. FKA Twigs’ stunning cockture gown was made by Christopher Kane and if Christopher Kane made a $20 sweatpants version of that dress, I’d buy several pairs and wear it every day. Peen is timeless and truly goes with everything. Although, FKA Twigs’ promised piece Robert Pattinson doesn’t look amused. I see him making a “Don’t ask to see my pink dick too” face.

I usually can’t with FKA Twigs’ red carpet pose game, because she opens her mouth a little and it makes her look like the Trix Rabbit caught in the headlights. But I didn’t really even notice her stunned bunny face, because all of my attention went to that peen on her thigh. Selfies were supposedly banned at the Met Gala and nobody really followed that rule. I wouldn’t have either. I’d ask FKA Twigs if I could take a selfie with her and if she said yes, I’d drop to my knees, press my cheek against the pank peen on her thigh and say, “Dick cheese!”

Pics: Wenn.com