Zooey Deschanel Wants You To Know That Whole “Adorkable” Thing Isn’t The Real Her

April 22, 2015 / Posted by:

Totally off topic, but seeing Zooey Deschanel ringing a triangle on the toilet has given me a great idea. My biggest fear – hand to god – is getting my ass stuck on the toilet and not being able to make enough noise for someone to come save me and eventually my ass grows into the toilet seat and I become an A&E reality show called I Live On The Toilet, so yeah – I might start keeping a triangle in the bathroom. Thanks, Zooey.

During an interview with the Huffington Post (via E!), Etsy’s unofficial mascot Zooey Deschanel made it very clear that she’s nothing like her New Girl character Jess, and that whole “adorkable” thing was just a bunch of made-up marketing BS:

“That was something that was calculated, you know what I mean? That was our marketing department at Fox and they did a really good job with our first season, but that’s a word that describes the character that I play, not me. I don’t personally have identification with that word myself.”

She also went on to hiss at the haters who would ever refer to her as adorable and/or dorky:

“I don’t really care what people think of me. I know that sounds crazy because you’re supposed to care about what people think of you, I guess, as an actor, but I really don’t. Obviously I’m grateful for all of the opportunities that I’ve had thus far, including New Girl, but I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who knows me use that word to describe me, so it’s not of any consequence to me.”

Both Zooey and her New Girl character always look like the first runner-ups of a Quirky Beauty Pageant (their talent being either a ukelele performance of Khia’s “My Neck, My Back” or awkward shrugging), so she really can’t be that surprised when people get the two of them confused.

But I get that she wouldn’t want to be associated with the word “adorkable”; I’ve broken several ribs cringing hard at that word. It’s a health and safety issue, really.

So who is the real Zooey? My guess is Secret Juggalo.

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