Bruce Jenner Has Been Waiting For This His Entire Life

Bruce Jenner’s 2-hour interview with Diane Sawyer is a little over a week away, but ABC is already milking the hell out of it like it’s a Kardashian vagina and the interview is a black dick. Everyone has reported that Bruce will use the interview to go public about his transition and will talk about the process. But the Kartrashians have been very vague about Bruce’s “journey” and so has ABC. The first promo didn’t even show his face and the second one, which ABC pushed out today, is still pretty vague. The voiceover dude brings the drama in heavy doses and I want him to narrate my life, because he’d make it sound way more interesting than it is. “Michael…… Getting out of bed…. Walking to the bathroom… Pissing while picking his eye crusties out… The journey… The decisions…”

In this second promo, Bruce Jenner actually speaks! And he doesn’t say much.

If you didn’t watch it, the only thing Bruce says is, “My whole life has been getting me ready for this.”

Because Bruce hasn’t yet said himself that he’s transitioning, some people don’t believe that’s what this interview is about. I do think Bruce is transitioning and believe that’s what this interview is about, but the promos have been so damn vague that I wouldn’t be too surprised if he said, “My whole life has been getting me ready for this. Diane, I am transitioning… from… a former track and field athlete to a competitive toy helicopter racer!” The end. Roll credits as Pimp Mama Kris cackles.