Brace yourselves. If Madge is the newest member of Taylor Swift’s Pussy Posse (which is like Leonard DiCatchAHo’s Pussy Posse except that they play with actual kittens instead of model vagina), she’ll be the “~cool~ really, really older sister” of that mob of basics and we’ll soon see pictures on Instagram of her teaching the girls how to suck peen by deep throating a water bottle (or a watermelon) and pictures of her and Tay Tay freezing Lena Dunham’s chonies after everyone passes out in a sugar coma from eating the heart-shaped tarts they made in the Easy Bake Oven.
While dressed like a ringmaster at a circus that doubles as a bordello, Madge sung her new single “Ghosttown” as Taylor Swift played the guitar at the iFartRadio Awards last night. I watched this in my hotel room last night and at first I couldn’t see Tay Tay’s face. I just saw that jacked up blond “freshly fucked David Cassidy“ hair, so I thought it was a really skinny C.C. DeVille in a silky slip. But my hard nipples went soft when I realized it was Tay Tay and not C.C. DeVille in a silky slip.
It’s only Monday, but you may get in your weekly quota of eyeball calisthenics while watching Taylor, who looks like Stevie Nicks’ mop, turn on the sexyface and get all dramatic like she’s Slash or some shit.
Well, the good news is that Madge didn’t try to shock us all by wet scissoring with Tay Tay during the last verse. She’s probably saving that move for the VMAs. And if you somehow didn’t meet your weekly eye roll quota while watching that video, Tay’s tweet might do it. She tweeted that she’s “ugly crying forever” over performing with Madge. Weekly eye roll quota met!
And here’s Tay Tay with all the awards she won last night.
Pics: Getty, Wenn.com