Mariah Carey Might Be Dating Brett Ratner

March 29, 2015 / Posted by:

I’d be insulted if my girlfriend had to don a special glove to touch me. Can you really blame her, though, lambs? Hello Kitty’s main bitch Mariah Carey and the cheated-in-the-crotch as well as in-the-personality director Brett Ratner are reportedly an item. He’s directed a couple of her videos, and they’ve apparently been friends for awhile.

There’s a really charming pic of them on TMZ. Mimi looks embarrassed, but is still giving major leg while summoning a deckhand to emancipate Brett’s corpulent’n’ drunk ass off her. Ratner normally looks like what would happen if an 8ball came to life. In this pic, he’s paying homage to every completely sauced messcake who has spied some cleavage and begun imagining he doesn’t reek of trouble or represent regret. “Hi baby, shu wanna buy you a cocktail? How bout’ it? What? You got nice boobies, though. Aw come on, don’t be like that. Bish.” *passes out, strikes head on deck, blood*

TMZ sez that pic was taken on Saturday on a billionaire friend of Ratner’s yacht in St. Barts. Brett’s 46 and Mimi’s 45, so they’re compatible age-wise. But can you even see her letting him in the penthouse? Does Lisa Frank make an at-home hazmat shower?

Check out some pics of them together from Ratner’s Instagram below.  Definitely check out a pic of the two of them with Courtney Love’s crazy ass. Maybe Courtney was looking for some acting tips from halfway-decent actor Mimi. Courtney’s junkie-ass “Elle Dallas” character lit up the screen on Empire! The only part of that bit I believed is when she convincingly fell over that dressing room ottoman whilst high. I guess they discussed Glitter and not Precious. *sad-face*

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