Mila Kunis Admits That She And Ashton Kutcher Are Married

That sound you just heard was a despondent Demi Moore falling face-first into a pile of 22-year-old party boys.

Mila Kunis has been spotted wearing one of THOSE RINGS on THAT FINGER since the birth of the tiny old timey gunslinger she made with Ashton Kutcher, and for a while she wasn’t into the idea of talking about whether she had made it legal with the former Trucker Hat Prince of Hollywood. But she finally admitted what we all sort of figured all along: that Jackie and Kelso got married.

According to the Daily Mirror, it happened during the taping of the debut episode of The Late Late Show with James Corden. James Corden kept asking her if she made it legal with Ashton Kutcher, and she kept answering with a coy “maybe“. Eventually he was like “You’re either married or you’re not“, and pointed at her hitchin’ finger, saying “They are married, look.” The Daily Mirror says she got all red faced, which prompted James to ask her during the break if he’d pissed her off, to which she laughed and answered “It’s fine.”

So there you have it. Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are officially married. It’s really too bad Mila and Ashton are so private, because I would have totally watched a reality show about their wedding day. And yes, only because I want to see Mila stomp down the stairs shouting “Michael! I mean, Ashton! You were supposed to be at the church 3 hours ago, you doofus! Why aren’t you wearing any pants? Gawd, you’re such an idiot!“