Madonna Says She’d Get An Invite To The White House If She Was More Like Beyonce

March 21, 2015 / Posted by:

Madonna recently did one of those 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me for UsWeekly, and sadly we didn’t get anything that shocking, like finding out that she doesn’t sleep in a solid gold hyperbaric chamber filled with purified ghost screams every night or bathe in the tears of 1000 virgin vampires, but we did discover that she’s never met President Barack Obama. “Oh, that’s too bad” though black Madonna (copyright: Madonna) as he pulled out his phone and pretended to accept a call from President Obama for the 17th time that day.

She also gave her theory for why that has never happened, and it involves not Beyonce. When asked: “Who do you most want to meet?“, Madonna answered:

Well, I’ve never met Obama. He probably thinks I’m too shocking to be invited to the White House. If I was a little bit more demure, if I was just married to Jay Z.

I have re-read that answer at least 10 times and I’m not sure if that’s Madonna being shady or truthful. On the one hand, that sort of sounds like how I would imagine Madonna would call someone a boring basic bitch. On the other hand, it sounds like Madonna being self-aware enough to realize that her hard-core commitment to crotchless leather panty couture might be a bit much for the White House. I’m going with shade, if only because Shady Madonna is my favorite Madonna.

But Madonna shouldn’t be bothered about not receiving an invitation to the White House from President Obama, because I’m sure if we did a little research, we’d find out he’s never actually invited Beyonce either. Beyonce’s visit to the White House probably happened because Beyonce just showed up to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue one day and instructed Blue Ivy to tell the Secret Service to let President Obama know that America’s Queen has dropped by for a visit.

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