I just made the mistake of picturing a naked Sean Penn sneaking up behind Charlize Theron and asking “Will you accept this hose?” and yeah, it looks like I just found the something that will replace Kris Jenner’s silly putty sandworm nose in my nightmares.
During an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night, Sean Penn revealed a random-as-hell fact about Sean Penn. No, not that his face skin is actually 100% human skin and not a sun-dried butterscotch Pudding Roll-Up like it appears to be, but that he’s a die-hard The Bachelor fan. It all sort of started when Sean asked Jimmy Kimmel “Britt of Kaitlyn“, which is a reference to which of the two new bachelorettes from The Bachelorette he likes more. That’s when he admitted that he and his future first wife Charlize Theron watch it every week. Although sometimes they don’t watch the whole episode; according to Sean Penn, he’d rather fast-forward through all the talking so he can get to the crying. Yeeeeeah, why does that not surprise me.
Whenever I imagined a quiet night in with Sean Penn and Charlize Theron, it usually involved the two of them opening up a fresh set of dishes to smash while screaming about nothing in particular until the neighbors called in a noise complaint. Never in my wildest dreams did I picture them watching The Bachelor. However, this does explain the mystery of who the hell still watches The Bachelor.
Here’s Sean Penn and Charlize Theron holding hands at the premiere of Sean’s new film The Gunman last night.