So now we know that Chris Brown’s jizz works and he’s able to procreate. Um, my only question is, who wants to stowaway with me on a rocket headed for the another planet?
TMZ says that there’s a human child on this planet who can call The Difficult Brown his father. 25-year-old Chris has a 9-month-old daughter with some 31-year-old model type named Nia. They’ve known each other for a couple of years and they’re supposedly friendly even though they’re not together. TMZ says that as far as they know there’s no formal child support arrangement in place and they’re not sure if The Difficult Brown is giving her cash. Chris Brown is a piece of corroded corn stuck in a turd so I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t paying for his kid.
Yes, Chris Brown is a father to a girl. This is seriously happening. Even though his kid is only 9 months old, I’m sure she can already say, “Let’s go on Maury.”
Somewhere, RiRi is blowing out a weed cloud of relief into Leonardo DiCaprio’s b-hole, because she’s probably glad it’s not her. And I don’t know whether or not Karrueche Tran is screaming “NOOOOOOO” while doing the slow wall slide of sadness or if she’s doing the happy dance of glee as her ovary eggs cry tears of relief because they’re glad Chris Brown’s sperm fish never punched their way into them.