Hot Slut Of The Day!

The wooden dummy that some dude tried to pass off as a passenger so he could drive in the carpool lane!

Using a dummy or your Real Doll to trick the cops into thinking you have every right to be in the carpool lane is nothing new. Messes have been using that trick ever since the carpool lane was invented and it might work if you play it cool and don’t pull any other illegal shit like speeding or blasting a Justin Bieber song. James Campbell of Long Island didn’t get that memo or he did get that memo and still didn’t give a shit, because he got caught driving with wood on Friday on the Long Island Expressway after the cops pulled him over for speeding.

NBC New York (because THIS is news) says that Suffolk County Highway Patrol pulled James over on Friday morning for driving 77mph in the carpool lane. When Officer Jonathan Abrams strolled up to the car, he asked to see some ID from the passenger, but well, that wasn’t really possible since the passenger was made of wood and wood people don’t have IDs. (“Um, doesn’t wood person Allison Williams have an ID?” – you “Good point.” – me) Officer Jonathan told NBC New York that the dummy wasn’t the worst one he’s seen and James might’ve gotten away with it if he didn’t speed. James was written up for speeding and for illegally using the carpool lane. He’ll have to show his face in court.

James used the dummy trick on Friday, because he started a new job and didn’t want to be late. He tells CBS New York that he’s not going to let getting caught get in his way and he’s going to keep fucking that chicken.

“I’ve been using it for months,” he said. “I think it’s fun,” Campbell said.

Campbell said he has no intention of retiring his dummy now that he has gotten caught. “I’ll still give it a shot,” he said. “I’ll change outfits.” Police said they wanted to reinforce that Campbell’s actions are illegal, and they will be on the lookout for him.

Bitch is a real carpool lane outlaw. If you’re ever on the Long Island Express and see a dude in the carpool lane speed by with a passenger seat full of hard wood, you can say to yourself, “Now that goes a real badass.” But you know what doesn’t make sense to me? How does a Kardashian count as a passenger, but a wooden bitch doesn’t? They’re both brainless and empty inside, but at least the wooden bitch isn’t made of 100% unnatural substances.