Well, I Guess Someone Had To Play The Part Of Jack Nicholson Last Night
Whenever I think of people who wear sunglasses indoors, I think of two things: douchebags who love attention and Jack Nicholson at the Oscars. But since the sedated horny badger wasn’t there last night, someone had to take his place as The Person Wearing Sunglasses Indoors For No Good Goddamn Reason, and it appears that person was Anna Wintour. I don’t know what’s more confusing: that Anna Wintour is wearing a pair of gas station sunglasses indoors, or that she was invited to the Oscars. Even Harvey Weinstein is like “So, you feel cold…are you related to the statue or something?”
When the camera panned into the audience and I saw Anna Wintour sitting there looking like the unsalted soda cracker version of Cookie Lyon, all I could think of was just how distracting she must have been for everyone on stage looking down at her; she looks like the Upper West Side old money aunt of Cyclops from The X-Men. I have no idea why she’s wearing sunglasses indoors like she is, but I’m just going to assume it has something to do with not drawing suspicion when a young type would walk on stage and her eyes would get all firey red and excited from the sight of young blood.
And because up is down and nothing makes any sense with that woman, here she is posing for pictures with her daughter Bee Shaffer outside before the show without her sunglasses:
