And Just Like That, Tyga Has Dropped Kylie Jenner For Selena Gomez

February 17, 2015 / Posted by:

Tyga was overheard saying, “Damn, I just really like Selena’s energy and she comes from a good upbringing and– what? She’s 22? Oh, too old, too old….”

Ariana Grande Latte is holding an emergency meeting with her lawyers this morning, because she thought she owned the copyright for the prostitot look. If V Magazine was going for, “if Terry Richardson and Margaret Keane got together to do a spread specifically for the white windowless van demographic, ” they nailed it! Selena not only got done up like a Lolita muñeca for V, she also did an interview with James Franco (????) and told him that she’s growing up and learned a lot from dating a certain famous piece of dirty tampon lint:

“I think the next time will be much different…which will definitely not be any time soon. That’s a growing up kind of thing. I was 18 years old, and it was my first love. The older I get, I’m guarding certain things more. After being put through the scrutiny, I understand what it is. When you’re young and you’re being told so many different things…it almost felt like all we had was each other, like the world was against us, in a way. It was really weird but it was incredible. I would never take it back in a million years. You live and you learn, you know?

There were a few months where I was a little depressed, where I wouldn’t leave [the house] as much. I think I drove myself crazy for a little bit. It was just easier to say, ‘Hey, do you mind running to the grocery store and picking some stuff up, I don’t want to get photographed.’ I’m finally getting a little bit more comfortable. It’s a process.”

Oh, okay, so I guess part of the “process” is saying okay to getting styled like an anime Pretty Baby for a magazine. That’s great and everything, but will Selena please give us all the address for her money manager so we know where to send the bill after the FBI breaks down our door for looking at these messy ass pictures.

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