Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Double Down Dog, KFC’s newest delicious assault on your arteries!
Because KFC is in cahoots with the pharmaceutical companies that make pills for coronary artery disease, they shat up the Double Down Dog, which is like the Double Down Burger but with a juicy wiener instead of a hamburger patty. Sadly, those of us who don’t live in the Philippines will have to continue to make our own heart attack-inducing deliciousness by wrapping a Bird’s Eye fried chicken cutlet around a microwaved hot dog. Because USA Today says that KFC is only selling this fried horror show in the Philippines for a very limited time and they’re only selling 50 a day. They started selling this pig-fucking-a-chicken messiness yesterday and it sold out in a quick second.
KFC says they have no plans to bring the DDD to the US and I don’t know why. Ugly beautiful crap like this was made for America. Maybe they know that if they sell it in the US, we’ll all go crazy, storm every KFC and loot the place of every DDD they’ve got. I mean, Guy Fieri would lose his mind over this and probably butt masturbate with one in the middle of a KFC during the daytime and America would never be the same again. That’s probably why.
If they did bring it to the US, they’d have to make some changes. They’d have to wrap it in a dozen slices of bacon, dip it in Twinkie batter, deep fry it twice and shove a little sliver of lettuce somewhere in there so they can call it a “healthy” option on their menu.
And the DDD has been Photoshopped more than Mimi, Beyonce and Madge combined in that ad. This is what it really looks like. Get ready to vomit and get the tingles at the same time.
Well, now we know what the creampie close-up in a Mama June sex tape would look like. And after that description, I’d still eat it.