Amal Clooney, Take Note: This Is How You Wear Gloves On The Red Carpet

January 26, 2015 / Posted by:

Actually, all stylists should take the note. The next time the trick they’re dressing asks, “What about gloves? Like Amal Clooney?” That stylist needs to ask to see a government-issued ID and if the name on that ID doesn’t say “Dame Joan Henrietta Collins” the answer is an all-caps, bolded FUCK NO! A law should be passed stating that only Dame Joan Collins is allowed to wear a pair of gloves on the red carpet, because she’s the only goddess who has the charisma, confidence and know how to pull that look off.

This morning, I scanned the Best Dressed of the SAG Awards lists and right after I did that, I Googled “contact information for the Deputy Sheriff of the Intrawebs Police,” because I need to report the authors of every one of those lists. Those lists should be deleted and erased from the Internet because none of them named Dame Joan as thee best-dressed of the night. That is illegal!

Dame Joan Collins sashayed onto the red carpet of the SAG Awards last night looking like pure perfection from that luscious wig perfectly perched on her head to her sensible heels. She looked like she was dressed for a funeral, which is pretty fitting. Because every time she struts into a room, homely peasants choke on her beauty and glamour before falling back into a coffin.


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