Open Post: Hosted By The Symbol Of Ageless Glamour That Is Sophia Loren

January 20, 2015 / Posted by:

Not pictured: Hos a third of her age being rolled away on stretchers after passing out from being so close to her ageless beauty, glamour and grace.

Every now and again, 80-year-old Sophia Loren needs to hit the red carpet to show the homely heffas and basic bitches how to properly take everyone’s breath away with her stunning looks and elegant posing skills. So Sophia showed up to the grand opening of DeRucci at Fora in Colonge, Germany last night. Sophia wore sensible black booties, which are the perfect footwear to wear when you need to drop kick hating hussies who try to dim your shine by snatching your wig off. I bet Sophia is used to jealous whores trying to tug at her wig, so she’s got a set of Russian Nesting Wigs on her head. When you pull one off, a smaller one is underneath and if you keep pulling you’ll get to hot a pixie cut wig, which she’ll wear while she steals your man and seduces your boss into firing you.

Sophia’s wig is truly glorious. The top of her head looks like the magical wonderland where old Annie wigs go to LIVE. The sun will come out tomorrow but only to peek at Sophia’s gorgeousness. And no, I cannot forget her loaded lip liner game.


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