Martin Lawrence Are Still At It, Recently Had A Romantic Candlelit Dinner

January 19, 2015 / Posted by:

Once again, the real Martin Lawrence is sitting in his mansion (Big Momma’s House) reading this headline with a confused look on his face and thinking “Daaaaamn Gina, I don’t remember lighting a bunch of candles and eating dinner like I was Harry Potter in the Great Hall or some such whimsical bullshit.”

It appears that the soggy bowl of Kashi Good Friends cereal that is the relationship between humanized nap Chris Martin and sexy fart Jennifer Lawrence is still a thing that is happening (that sound you just heard was Gwyneth Paltrow submerging herself in a hand-carved Italian crystal bath tub and letting out a full-body scream). According to People, Martin Lawrence were spotted having a romantic dinner last week in Los Angeles. A source says Martin Lawrence snuck in the back door of the restaurant and proceeded to sit at a candlelit table for almost two hours. They ordered several plates of food and split a dessert. Ew, really? They split a dessert? That date sounds like my idea of Hell. A looky-loo sitting near Martin Lawrence said:

“They looked happy and just focused on each other. They were smiling, talking and very friendly”

Chris Martin totally strikes me as the type of dude who shows up to a date holding one single cellophane-wrapped red rose, so a candlelit dinner sounds right up his alley. But I didn’t think candles and splitting a slice of cheesecake was rill enough for America’s Kewl Girlfriend Jennifer Lawrence. She seems more like a ripping-chicken-wing-farts-while-chugging-a-growler-of-beer type of girl. Next time Chris should do her right and take her to the dirty Dave & Busters (there’s always a “dirty” one). Or maybe he’s saving D&B for something special, like the night he proposes. “Darling, before you dig into your Mountain O’ Nachos, I believe you might want to take a look inside that pile of guacamole…

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