According to Page Six, Michael Jackson might want to take a break from teaching Jesus how to moonwalk in Heaven, because his son Prince is up to some hoodrat shit and needs a good ghost slap upside the head (don’t worry, ghost slaps don’t hurt). A source says that 17-year-old Prince Jackson has been seriously fucking up his ability to choose non-asshole friends by hanging out with trash brat Justin Bieber and his reading-challenged boxer mentor Floyd Mayweather Jr.. I believe that’s what is called a shitty influence sandwich.
Prince Jackson and Canada’s shame apparently live in the same Calabasas neighborhood, so they started hanging out with each other and are possibly “making music” together. I’ll go ahead and assume that’s a euphemism for something else, since we all know Justin Bieber doesn’t make music, he ruins it. The two are also hanging around Floyd Mayweather Jr., who is acting like a low-budget Oprah to the two by giving them life advice about lots of things, including women. Yes, Justin Bieber and Prince Jackson are getting lady advice from convicted lady beater Floyd Mayweather Jr. (I guess Mike Tyson and the ghost of Ike Turner were busy).
Prince Jackson currently gets $66,000 a month from his father’s estate, and something tells me that might be one of the reasons Justin Bieber has made him his new best friend. That shady toddler knows he’s one more private jet purchase away from doing Bad Boy commercials in Canada, so he decided to start surrounding himself with people who can afford to pick up the tab at Chuck E. Cheese every once in a while.
Ugh, this is all such a huge bummer. Hangin’ with Justin Bieber is a bad move on Prince Jackson’s part. Blanket, come get your brother before Justin Bieber starts rubbing off on him and he begins acting like an obnoxious jerk while recklessly spending his money on extravagant crap. “You say that like it’s a bad thing” says Unky Jermaine.