Open Post: Hosted By A Woman’s Gas Pump Struggle

December 31, 2014 / Posted by:

One of the proudest and brightest moments of my year was when I was a little drunk (okay, a lotta drunk) and a little stoned (okay, a lotta stoned) and I went to take my dog to piss and caca downstairs. When I got back to my apartment door, I stuck the key in and the bitch didn’t work. I stuck it in again and wiggled it a bit. Nothing. (That’s the story of my life, by the way.) I did that a third time and when that didn’t work, I played with the knob before trying to push open the door. Still nothing. I started to think that in the 10 minutes I had been gone, someone broke into my apartment, changed the locks and was on the other side of the door, cackling at me while eating my goddamn Ben & Jerry’s. Just when I was about to scream for the police, I looked up at the door. Not only was I standing in front of the wrong apartment, but I was on the wrong floor. Sadly, that wasn’t the first time I’ve done that. Or the second. Or the third. It won’t be the last either. So I feel this messy woman’s struggle even though I had an excuse.

But really, that video is a visual metaphor for life. Aren’t we all just circling and circling, looking for a hole to stick the pump in? Or if you’re strictly a bottom, then you’re just circling and circling, look for a pump to stick in your hole. That video is all of us.

via Tastefully Offensive

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: Don't be racist or bigoted, or go way off topic when not in an Open Post. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >