“The Interview” Is Coming Out In Some Theaters And VOD After All. USA! USA! USA!

December 23, 2014 / Posted by:

But is it really a victory for the USA? Because staring at that picture of James Flacco and Seth Rogen celebrating the release The Interview by three-way kissing feels like somebody bombed my eyes. It’s like the ass-to-ass scene in Requiem for a Dream.

After all that, Sony said today that they will fart up The Interview in selected theaters and on VOD on Christmas Day. The country’s 5 biggest movie chains want nothing to do with The Interview after hackers (who are working for those dramatic bitches North Korea, so says the FBI) threatened them with a terrorist attack, so smaller theaters will show that mess. The Alamo Drafthouse in Richardson, TX, The Plaza Theater in Atlanta and the MX Theaters in St. Louis will throw The Interview up on their screens on Jesus’ born day. It will go up on VOD the same day. The CEO of Sony Entertainment coughed up this statement:

“We have never given up on releasing ‘The Interview’ and we’re excited our movie will be in a number of theaters on Christmas Day. At the same time, we are continuing our efforts to secure more platforms and more theaters so that this movie reaches the largest possible audience. I want to thank our talent on ‘The Interview’ and our employees, who have worked tirelessly through the many challenges we have all faced over the last month. While we hope this is only the first step of the film’s release, we are proud to make it available to the public and to have stood up to those who attempted to suppress free speech.”

Seth creamed out of his butt about this news on Twitter and James Flacco celebrated by posting that picture and thanking “President Obacca.”

Those of us who weren’t planning to see that mess can continue to plan to not see that mess.

Some people might be screaming, “STUNT! I KNEW IT,” but I don’t know. Would a major multinational conglomerate fake a major hacking, leak the private information of their employees, commit a criminal act by faking a terrorist threat and then blame it all on North Korea just so their shitty movie starring James Franco and Seth Rogen can get more attention? What am I saying? They’d take a machete to a litter of kittens with cancer if it meant their movie would make an extra nickel.

Pic: Instagram

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