Helena Bonham Carter And Tim Burton Are Over After 13 Years Together

In “THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, TRUE LOVE IS MUERTO!” news, Tim Burton and his muse/partner/mother of his 2 kids Helena Bonham Carter have chopped up their 13 year relationship, put it through the meat grinder and baked it in pie dough to be sold to an unsuspecting Londoner. This a nightmare before Christmas for anyone who thought they would last forever. Prayer circle around Goldie and Kurt!

I thought that Lindsay Lohan would get a clue before HBC and Tim Burton broke up. In other words, I didn’t think they’d ever break up. They live in separate houses, don’t see each other’s faces every day and let each other do their own thing (and possibly other people). That sounds like an almost perfect marriage! But they decided that they’re over it and told her rep to pull out a canned break-up statement, scribble their names in the blanks and release it to People:

The couple “separated amicably earlier this year and have continued to be friends and co-parent their children,” Carter’s rep tells PEOPLE exclusively. “We would ask that you respect their privacy and that of their children during this time.”

The pair – who never married – first met when Burton, 56, directed Carter, 48, in 2001’s Planet of the Apes.

If you’re wondering why they’re announcing it now if they broke up months ago, the answer is: He has a movie coming out in 2 days and the hustle never stops.

Who will play the “quirky” and “weird” lady in all of his movies now?! I bet every hard-up actress is going to move within a 10 mile radius of Tim Burton so she can show up on his Tinder, which might lead to a date, which might lead to a relationship, which might lead to him casting her in every single one of his movies.

Or Tim Burton will finally stop fighting the feeling and marry his true soulmate Johnny Depp.