Open Post: Hosted By Martha Stewart’s “Gingerbread Abbey”

December 20, 2014 / Posted by:

I love gingerbread. So far this holiday season, I have eaten nearly 9 dozen gingerbread cookies. I am not proud of that, but it’s the truth. I have also made a two-storey gingerbread house, and I am counting down the days till I can smash it open and gnaw at the stale pieces like a hungry rat rooting through the trash. Again, I am not proud of that. So obviously Martha Stewart’s gingerbread version of Downton Abbey is doing things to me. I want to eat it all, and I don’t care how many gross hands have touched it. People says Martha’s Gingerbread Abbey took 2 hours to assemble and 34 hours to decorate. But I’m sure it only took 3 seconds to piss off Martha’s sworn enemy Gwyneth Paltrow, who no doubt ran into her kitchen, fired up her La Cornue Grand Palais 180 oven, and screamed at her assistants “I need 2 gallons of imported French molasses, 8 bags of organic hand-pressed rice flour, and the blueprints for Buckingham Palace RIGHT NOW!”

(via People)

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