And Now For The Time Noted Booze Enthusiast Reese Witherspoon Started Drinking Before Noon At A Charity Auction

December 4, 2014 / Posted by:

I see Reese Witherspoon’s thumbs up and raise her two thumbs up, because if there’s anything I can enthusiastically support, it’s christening my mouth with the good stuff before am turns to pm. I mean, not that I currently do – but I just like to keep my options open when it comes to where and when I get ripped, you know? Regardless, it sounds like AMERICAN CITIZEN Reese Witherspoon lives by the 5 O’Clock Somewhere Rule (aka one of America’s greatest contributions to modern civilization), because Star says she was recently spotted at a charity auction getting her drink on at 11:45am.

A source claims that Reese arrived to the event looking agitated and uneasy, but started to let loose after drinking glass of wine. Eventually one glass turned into two, and that’s when Reese Witherspoon turned into her boozy no-fucks-given life of the party alter-ego, Laura Jeanne Poon! The source tells Star:

“As Reese kept drinking, she started to feel more comfortable and got a lot chattier. She was bouncing around in her seat and entertaining her table.”

The source went on to say that Laura Jeanne had three glasses before noon, but that she wasn’t drunk. DUH, of course she wasn’t! First of all, Laura Jeanne Poon doesn’t get drunk, she gets fall-down gorgeous. Second, Laura Jeanne Poon can handle her booze like a champ, so don’t worry that she’s chugging bottles of peeno greege before noon. Thirdly, it doesn’t matter if Laura Jeanne was drunk at 11:45am; Laura Jeanne saw a lack of party, so she brought it. Laura Jeanne is charitable, after all.

Here’s more of Laura Jeanne’s less fun alter-ego Reese Witherspoon talking about her new movie Wild at the SoHo Apple store in NYC yesterday:

Pics: Splash,

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