Open Post: Hosted By Lindsay Lohan In One Of JoAnne Worley’s Old Dresses

December 3, 2014 / Posted by:

Whenever you’re about to take on something that seems impossible (example: Read War & Peace, watch Peter Pan Live! without getting blackout ER-worthy drunk, go grocery shopping without opening up a box of Nilla Wafer to snack on as you shop, etc..) and you don’t know if you can do it, just tell yourself that living and breathing train wreck Lindsay Lohan made it through the entire run of Speed-The-Plow in London and she didn’t quit or get fired. Anything is possible. Miracles do happen.

Even though LiLo’s run in Plowed-For-Speed is done, she’s still in London, because there’s parties to party at and gift bags to steal and sell on eBay. Last night, the PacSun designer brought her brand of messiness to a Chopard party and the after-party for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Yes, she looks like a busted up Ann-Margret zombie circa 1974 and those shoes look like they’re covered in gaping scabs, but her weave doesn’t look like it’s been attacked by squirrels the way it usually does, so there’s that.

LiLo’s entire tacky look is very “long-retired fourth-rate showgirl who pulled out one of her old costumes to show the kids at the nursing home in Reno that she’s still got it.” What I’m saying is, this is the look.

And that goddamn kissy face pose. LiLo needs to stop trying to make the kissy face pose happen, because it’s never going to happen. If bitch keeps doing it, her face is going to get stuck like that and then she’ll really be fucked. “I don’t know, my face is stuck like that and I do just fine.” Jocelyn Wildenstein

Pics: Splash,

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