The world’s most famous “Cool Mom” Madonna recently sat down for an interview with drowsy-looking magician David Blaine (because I guess even the word random feels the needs to reinvent itself sometimes) for Interview Magazine, as well as a tits-out photo shoot, because it’s Madonna, and if she doesn’t take a couple pictures with her tits out, did the interview even really happen? Exactly. Also, the interview was as boring as watching paint dry at Blake Lively’s house, so they needed something to keep people from falling into a coma, and what better way than 16 heavily Photoshopped half-naked pictures of Madonna?
Although I’m not entirely sure the above person is Madonna; it actually looks more like a fan drawing of Detox from RuPaul’s Drag Race. It also looks like what you’d get if Kim Kardashian put on one of Jessica Lange’s Elsa Mars wigs from American Horror Story and a pair of blue contact lenses. Then again, Madonna is pretty much 97% Gaussian blur in Photoshop now, so saying “This looks nothing like Madonna” is like a riddle wrapped in a conundrum dipped in existentialism.
Regardless, I am having a real hard time trying to figure out what’s going on with her boob situation. Why did they decide to Photoshop her cleavage to look like a science class textbook picture of cell division? Those aren’t boobs! That’s one boob that decided to split into two.
Here’s the rest of Madonna’s Interview photo shoot, including one NSFW nipple shot (“Outta my way!” cried no one) and a couple where she looks like Hannibal Lecter trying to disguise himself as a horny attention-starved cougar: