That Was Fast: Evan Rachel Wood And Katherine Moennig Broke Up

November 16, 2014 / Posted by:

Exactly six seconds ago, I posted about how Evan Rachel Wood was bumping chochas with the wet dream crush of her dreams Katherine Moennig and three seconds later they were photographed looking like two raccoons caught in the beam of a flashlight while canoodling outside of a restaurant in West Hollywood. DAMN THEM! MoeWood was supposed to get married, have a baby together, give that baby a hipster name like Leopold Kelp and become my third favorite gayelle couple after Rojo Caliente and Cynthia Nixon, and Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin (RIP).  But you know, since lesbians stereotypically move fast, they probably did all of that in the few weeks they were together (“You forgot to make an Indigo Girls joke, you stupid, unoriginal piece of trash” – my lesbian friends) and once they figure out a fair custody arrangement for lil’ baby Leopold Kelp, they’ll divide up their Indigo Girls vinyl collection (“Don’t forget a Home Depot joke too, you dumb mess” – my lesbian friends again) and shred their joint Home Depot charge card.

UsWeekly says that Evan and Katherine broke up recently and one source says that they might be on a break. But ERW is still kind of sad about it since she brought the Lion King into it:

Still, the romance ended as quickly as it started. Earlier this month, Wood cryptically tweeted “…it hurts.” On Nov. 9, she retweeted a quote from The Lion King: “The past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.” A source tells Us, however, that the couple may just be taking a break.

If they’re on a break, I wouldn’t blame Katherine for making that break permanent because THE LION KING. Well, but at least ERW didn’t quote Frozen, so I’ll give her that.

ERW’s accountant is totally going to call her this week and have a serious talk with her. Because when shit ended with Marilyn Manson and she went on to Billy Elliot, she burned all of her Dita Von Teese 2.0 outfits and bought new granola hipster clothes so she could match Jamie Bell. And when she moved on from Jamie Bell, she burned all her granola hipster clothes and bought a bunch of black clothes and black eyeliner so she could match Katherine Moennig. So ERW’s accountant is going to tell her that for the sake of her finances, can she please date a nudist next.

Here’s some riveting pictures of hot ass Katherine Moennig at The Paley Center for Media’s annual benefit gala for LGBT equality in L.A. last week.


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