I know it looks like Leonardo DiCaprio is flashing some kind of bearded hobo gang sign, but that’s actually how he orders models. “Two please! I’m thinking something from 1992, blonde…aw hell, it’s my birthday – surprise me! NOTHING OLDER THAN 25, YOU HEAR ME???”
It was the President of the Pussy Posse’s 40th birthday yesterday, so he had his assistant Lukas Haas dock the yacht (the S. S. Snatch Catcher) so he could celebrate with his friends at the Soho House in West Hollywood. But when he arrived, Leo was greeted by something far more wonderful and important than friends: bony-assed panty models! According to TMZ, Leo’s guest list included a bunch of his friends like Tyrese, Russell Simmons, Robin Thicke (ew Leo no), and then a shitload of models. A source tells TMZ that they estimate the guest list was about 80% models.
80% may seen like a lot, but just remember – models take up a lot less space. So if you want the room to look full, you’ve got to really pack them in. Besides, a 5:1 model-to-guest ratio isn’t nearly enough for a seasoned pussy hound like Leo. Leo probably arrived at Soho House, scanned the room like a booty-hunting T-1000, calculated a paltry pussy count of 80%, and promptly slapped Lukas Haas across the face while screaming “80? 80? WHERE’S THE OTHER 20?!?”
Obviously there were no cameras allowed inside Leo’s birthday party, but here are some of the non-model guests leaving last night, including sexy humanoid Eggo waffle Jonah Hill, Joel Edgerton, and vinegar-based life-form Adam Levine: