— PAPER Magazine (@papermagazine) November 12, 2014
No wonder Beyonce’s last Instagram picture looked like it was ‘shopped with a half-broken version of Photoshop 0.07 full of dull and overused tools, because all of the Photoshop was used on this Paper Magazine cover of greasy trash coming out of a trash bag. RIP Adobe. We should’ve known you’d eventually spit out your last breath while pasting someone else’s waist on Kim Kartrashian’s extra glazed plastic ass.
Last night, thousands of people pushed away the plate of greasy, over-stuffed pork dumplings they were having for dinner and said, “Yeah no, I’m okay,” after seeing Kummy Kakes’ Photoshopped ass looking like a family of hairless warthogs oil wrestling in a trash bag. That picture of Kummy looking like a centaur Who was taken by Jean-Paul Goude who took several iconic pictures of Grace Jones back in the day.
Jean-Paul Goude also recreated his famous “champagne glass balancing on an ass” picture with Kim and it’s after the cut. Computers and fingers were broken while Photoshopping that shit.
Paper should really get a Photoshop Lifetime Achievement Award for this one, because they did amazing work. You can’t even tell that they Photoshopped a bottle of champagne over Ray-J’s dick and Photoshopped a stream of champagne over the stream of piss coming out of his peen. Bravo!
Of course, being the dildo of delusion that she is, Kim tweeted this:
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) November 12, 2014
Kanye also tweeted the picture of Kim trying to catch her shit in a trash bag and threw up “#ALLDAY” with it. Kanye must’ve been confused, because he put that hashtag under Kim’s Paper cover and not under a picture of Riccardo Tisci’s glistening b-hole.
And Kim’s klone Naya Rivera came for the trick she’s trying to become:
1. The “You’re Someone’s Mother” boat left the port a long ass time ago.
2. Are you really someone’s mother when that someone doesn’t call you “mom” and makes a question make with their face when their real mother (aka the nanny) hands them off to you for a photo-op on the ho stroll?
3. I expect Naya Rivera to recreate that picture for Hustler.