Cara Delevingne Confirms She’s Humping On Actor Jack O’Connell By Posting A Picture Of His Hickeys

After that fickle trick Michelle Rodriguez left her ass for a part-time temporary position as Zac Efron’s vacation buddy, E! says that British model and owner of a gorgeous set of eyebrows that look like a pair of well-fed wiener dog puppies Cara Delevingne has found herself a new pussy tamer: Skins actor and star of Dame St. Angie’s upcoming WW2 movie Jack O’Connell. Get it girl! Get that saint-approved dick! And Cara sort of confirmed what E! already said by posting this picture of with a neck full of hickeys to Instagram yesterday, and correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe a neck full of hickeys is confirmation that two people are getting their fuck on, yes? Cara captioned the pic: “Love bites #fittybum“, which means…fuck if I know. All I can say about this picture is:

BAAAAAAAAARRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

For someone who looks at pictures of Kardashians all day, you’d think I’d have a stronger stomach, but NO! Hickeys are DISGUSTING! They look like the puffy bloodshot eyes of a stoned alien. And don’t even get me started on those neck pubes; even John Waters is like “I don’t feel well, I need to lie down.” This is not why Instagram was invented, Cara! It is to be used for good, not evil! Plus, if you’re going to suck something that hard, why waste it on the neck, ifyaknowhatimsayin.

And I swear to god, “hick pics” better not become a thing, because there isn’t enough eye bleach in the universe to un-see all those swollen red neck slugs.

Here’s Cara Dyson-vingne looking like Sonic the Hedgehog’s weed-smoking sister at the opening of a Topshop store earlier this week, and Cara’s hot hickey prince Jack at a BFI thing earlier this month:

Pics: Wenn.com