Sweet sassy Jambi, why are Pee-wee’s eyes so red? I bet that little ginger shithead Randy has something to do with it. Probably gave him pink eye. Fucking Randy.
Paul Reubens (who I like to pretend is actually Pee-wee Herman’s creepy uncle) confirmed on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Wednesday night that nearly 30 years after the amazing Pee-wee’s Big Adventure (and 27 years after the…uh…slightly less amazing Big Top Pee-wee), Pee-wee Herman will be returning to the big screen. Reubens says he’s written the script, hired a director (he won’t say who), and plans to begin production in February of 2015 with Judd Apatow producing. So far it’s all very hush-hush, but if Judd Apatow is producing it, then there’s a good chance the part of Dottie will be played by Seth Rogen.
Pee-wee’s Big Adventure is practically a religion to me, and there’s nothing I would like more than to let Paul Reubens take me to church. But Pee-wee is 30 years older now, and I’m not sure I want to see Pee-wee going on a cross-country adventure to find his lost Hoveround or trying to do the Tequila dance and breaking a hip. Aw, who am I kidding? I’ll be there on opening night dressed as Sharon Needles dressed as Pee-wee Herman. I should start shopping for some stretch plaid now.
And I hope Paul Reubens plans on filming this shit in Heaven, because you can’t make a new Pee-wee movie without Large Marge, Hobo Jack, and the bitchy Alamo tour guide! Especially the bitchy Alamo tour guide! Pee-wee is NOTHING without hearing Jan Hooks giggle-hiss out “Thayres no baysement at the Ahlahmow!”