“Uncle Poodle And Pumpkin Have It Out On Social Media” is a Golden Books title I never thought I’d read…
Mama June and her Country Bear Jamboree-named family should probably have it out in a closed therapist’s office before CPS busts through the doors and puts all the chirrun in the custody of a more responsible individual like Glitzy the pig or a jar of old sketti sauce. But since Mama June has proved that she’s full of a lot of things and sense isn’t one of them, she’s not doing that. Instead, they’re airing out their shit-stained, barf-covered laundry all over Facebook and Instagram.
The messiness started last night when Mama June’s daughter, 14-year-old Pumpkin, shanked at the Instagram users who called out her mom as the shittiest parent of the century for dating the convicted pedophile that her own daughter accused of molesting her when she was 8. Instagram is now covered in pumpkin seeds and gunk, because Pumpkin exploded and accused Anna of lying about the molestation and then called out Sugar Bear’s brother Uncle Poodle as the one who started the quick demise of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo by selling fake stories to TMZ because he needs the cash.
One Instagram user, @fuuyckrapistsforever, kept telling Pumpkin to open up her eyes and stop telling lies for her mom. Pumpkin called out that user as being Uncle Poodle in an Instagram disguise and she screamed out this ALL-CAPS Kanye-style rant:
THIS HERE IS UNCLE POODLE AND HIS MAN. THEY ARE UPSET BC THE SHOW WAS CANCELLED AND THEY NO LONGER HAVE MONEY. THEY HAVE BEEN SELLING FALSE STORIES AND MAKING MONEY. HE TOLD ME EARLIER TODAY THAT HE HOPED MY MOM GOT CANCER AND DIED OF A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH. GET THIS HE IS 30 YEARS OLD TELLING A 14 YEAR OLD THIS. EVERY STORY THATS OUT RIGHT NOW HE HAS PUT OUT AND ITS ALL FALSE. HE JUST THINKS IT ALL FUN AND GAMES SELLING FAMILY OUT BUT KARMA IS A BITCH TRUST ME I KNOW HER PERSONALLY. SO IMMA SIT BACK AND LAUGH BC WHEN THE TRUTH COMES OUT YOUR FUCKED.
Everyone should have a seat, buy a few granola bars from the vending machine and grab the thickest magazine on the waiting room coffee table, because it’s going to be a while before this “truth” that Mama June and Pumpkin keep saying is going to “come out” finally comes out.
So who to believe? Anna, who really has no reason to lie, or Mama June who has been in picture after picture with a convicted pedophile? That decision is eating at my brains! Pumpkin is 14 years old, was struck by lightning and probably believes all the lard-smeared “facts” that her mother is feeding her, so it’s sad, but not surprising that she’s calling her own sister a liar.
Uncle Poodle defended himself in Facebook post after Facebook post (which he later deleted) by saying that Mama June is the lie-teller in this situation and he regularly drove her to meet her Pedobear boo and watched as she made out with her daughter’s molester in front of Honey Boo Boo. Uncle Poodle went on to say that he has to write all his Facebook posts on a Braille keyboard now since after he witnessed that act of level 10 ICK.NAST, his eyeballs quit his sockets and they were last seen throwing themselves in a pit of fire. After Uncle Poodle deleted all his posts, he said that he loves them all and is going to stay out of it from now on.
On top of all of that, TMZ says that there’s nothing the police can do. TMZ’s contact in the Dekalb County Sheriff’s Dept. says they received many complaints about Mama June letting Honey Boo Boo hang around with a pedophile. They say that the convicted pedophile Mark McDaniel did his time and is allowed around children. The cops can only step in if he molests another kid. CPS is investigating, but a source tells TMZ that like the cops, their hands our tied unless they have reason to believe he’s a real threat to kids again. Yeah, I guess him being a registered sex offender isn’t in the list of things that are a threat to children.
Sugar Bear is apparently contemplating putting on his Captain Save-A-Boo-Boo cape to fight for custody of Honey Boo and yeah, he once robbed a bunch of people, but she’s better off with him than Mama June. So that’s the latest for now and I’m sure this messy messy messy situation is only going to get messier and sadder.