Because Sex and the City – the horny 4-headed cerberus from Hell named Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and whatever Rojo Caliente’s wife’s name was – will never ever die, Sarah Jessica Parker chose to stage a photo shoot for her shoe line, SJP, outside 66 Perry Street in New York City’s West Village, aka Carrie Bradshaw’s apartment. Unfortunately, the people who currently live there now are sick and tired of the never-ending armies of SATC-obsessed women mashing their half-eaten Magnolia cupcakes into their brownstone stoops while they take 1,385 selfies in front of the pretend home of Our Lady of Manolos. So they’ve installed a chain along the front of their stairs, as well as a sign instructing people to step the fuck off. Oh, owners of 66 Perry Street – you’re such a Charlotte!
However, Sarah Jessica Parker clearly doesn’t give a fuck about signs or chains (that, or she saw that the little man on the sign had no feet, and thought the “Do NOT go on the staircase please” rule only applied to footless amputee shadow people) because she decided to dump a fuckload of her high heels all over the stoop of 66 Perry and along the sidewalk. Then she took a bunch of pictures for Instagram, collected her shoes, and galloped off into the sunset.
And now Page Six says that the residents of Perry Street are fucking PISSED, because SJP violated their neighborhood with her blatant disregard of their sign. THE AUDACITY! A source claims the owners of 66 Perry have tried to contact SJP for an explanation of how she could endorse such a photo shoot, considering there is a very clear ‘no trespassing’ sign. So far, SJP hasn’t returned their calls. But Page Six says that the president of the Perry Street HOA, Gerald Banu, is aware of the situation, and understands why they’re so mad:
“I heard about the shoot. They didn’t get the permission from the owner. The situation with SATC visitors is still very intense. People who live here get upset that the sidewalks are constantly jammed. The only thing I could suggest to SJP is that when they write the next script, please have Carrie move to a new address.”
I agree with Gerald. Please have Carrie move to a new address, preferably somewhere very far away so we don’t have to suffer through any more SATC movies. Might I suggest SATC 3: Carrie and Big Move To Uranus? With Carrie lost in space, you’ll have plenty of time to focus on the story that really matters: SATC 4: ROJO! (and also Miranda I guess).
And if this shit ever gets dragged into court (it won’t, but go on), here is the PROOF that SJP is a criminal of the highest order by littering the stoop and sidewalk with her shoes. Shit, someone call Batman! The West Village Shoe Villain must be stopped!