I must’ve not been paying attention when the chunk slowly melted off of Zach Galifianakis’ body and he transformed into a new and de-FUPA’d him. Thank God he didn’t lose any weight from his lusciously fat bushy brows.
Zach showed up to the New York Film Festival premiere of Birdman on Saturday Night and everybody who hasn’t seem in a while had a “Harpo, who dis woman?” moment. They all looked at Zach the same way Pimp Mama Kris looks at the ho in her stable who doesn’t make her any money (aka Rob Kardashian). They looked at Zach like, “You look familiar, but I can’t quite put a name to that face.”
No, Zach didn’t get skinny after a 109-year-old traveller cursed his ass for hitting an old lady. Zach joked to E! at the premiere of Birdman that he’s dying. But E! points out that last year, Zach started losing the chunk and told Conan O’Brien that he lost weight after he broke up with the sweet nectar. You know how sometimes when you’re spending time with booze and the next thing you know you’re 5 episodes into a Naked and Afraid marathon and you look at that bottle while saying, “How could you lead me down this dark and dangerous path?” Zach had a lot of those moments so he quit that shit.
“I stopped drinking and I just kind of put the weight off… I was having a lot of vodka with sausage…delicious but bad for you. I was getting into too much trouble with the drinking, so I just kind of stopped.”
So Zach is now booze and FUPA free.
And to answer the question in your head, yes, yes, I’d hit it and mostly because I look at Zach and kind of see the college drama teacher neighbor of Julia Roberts in Sleeping with the Enemy:
Zach, get thee a black mock turtleneck now!