Afternoon Crumbs

October 13, 2014 / Posted by:

In Iris Chacon was robbed AGAIN news, Esquire named Penelope Cruz their “Sexiest Woman Alive” in the year 2014. Yes, in the year 2014. That’s nice and everything but why did they use an overly Photoshopped picture of Lea Michele and Tweety Bird’s love child? Why didn’t they just use a picture of Penelope Cruz?  – Celebitchy

The good thing about Colin Farrell’s greasy hipster Eddie Munster hair is that if you wring it out, you can get at least 2 cups of pussy lube out of it – Lainey Gossip 

I was going to make a Justin Bieber joke here, but Justin’s tits are way bigger than that – Drunken Stepfather

Snooki gives a tour of the house that being a drunken, trashy mess bought her. But I’m not sure if that’s really Snooki’s Casa de Ewok, because I don’t see a pickle vault – Reality Tea

John Cleese thinks Taylor Swift’s pussy looks damaged – The Superficial

The person who took a Photoshop tool to CoCo’s hungry, hungry camel toe should be tried and jailed for vandalizing a national monument – WWTDD

Some dude from Kingdom showed off his muscled nalgas and surprisingly it wasn’t Nick Jonas – OMG Blog

Doogie Howser calls his own coming out the “Gay-tsburg Address” and I Abraham LinCAN’T with that shit – Towleroad

If you’ve been tossing and turning all night and haven’t slept in days because you’ve been waiting to hear The Difficult Brown’s thoughts on Ebola, you can finally get some mimi times tonight, because the douche has spoken – IDLYITW

Kristen Stewart and her rumored partner in pussy roam the streets of L.A. looking like hipster hobos whose hair was eaten by rats as they lay passed out under a park bench – Popoholic

Vanessa Hudgens looks like Poison Ivy at junior prom – Hollywood Tuna

More like manscaping wins! – The Berry

Taylor Swift doesn’t know if she wants to bring kids into her paparazzi-filled world and somewhere Olivia Benson is thinking to herself, “Oh but you’ll bring cats into it, you bitch?” – ICYDK

Professional humor ranter Louis CK humor rants about ISIS – Pajiba

If Tank Girl got addicted to snorting paint chips and supported her habit by go-go dancing at bottom tier raves – Egotastic!

Okay, but when did Bruce Jenner become a Fox News commentator? – Jezebel

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