Open Post: Hosted By The German Chola Rhinestone Delicately Drinking Water

October 12, 2014 / Posted by:

Dlisted started its day with glamour (thanks to everyone who educated me on the graceful glory of Aerobicise) and its intermission was full of glamour so it’s only fitting that we end with a humongous dollop of glamour.

Millions of people (okay, I may be overestimating by 1 person or 999,993 people) at a mall in Vienna, Austria were showered with sheer beauty yesterday when German designer and Dlisted favorite Harald Glööckler made an appearance at an autograph session. While dressed up like a 75-year-old Palm Beach socialite who considers Klaus Nomi one of her greatest fashion inspirations, Harald left a trace of thick stardust all over the millions of pictures he signed for all of his loyal subjects.

During his autograph session, Harald nearly caused a mass medical emergency. Hundreds of plebs nearly went into cardiac arrest while watching John Travolta’s hairline idol delicately put a tiny glass between his angelic slug lips so he could quench his thirst. It’s like watching a rare ebony unicorn sip from a pond full of melted rainbows under a pink moon. Harald Glööckler sipping water IS magical theater.

And 20 minutes after that picture was taken, the cholita Liberace excused himself to piss into an empty bottle of Cristal that was eventually sealed and shipped off to Diddy’s yacht. Yes, that’s how fine champagne is made.


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