Open Post: Hosted By The Always Classy Bai Ling

October 5, 2014 / Posted by:

I know what you’re thinking: there’s been far too much heart-stopping sophistication on Dlisted today. First Bruce Jenner, and now the beautiful bundle of crazy Bai Ling? Don’t worry, I’ll wait while you pull out your defibrillator and re-start your heart.

So a strange thing happened this weekend: Bai Ling was invited to walk the red carpet of theĀ Evening Under the Stars event last night in Culver City and she didn’t flash her scorpion tail nipple tips or her no-no pocket or her skanky butt cheeks. Sure, she did pretend to pop a half-squat and pull up her dress like a 4-year-old showing you they have to make a pee-pee, but that’s practically a bashful curtsey and an air kiss in Bai Ling behavior. She’s not even dressed like a hot mess! Normally Bai would roll up to the red carpet looking like an out-of-work stripper farted on a teenage shoplifter, but Bai kept it classy and wore the sluttiest junior prom dress from DEB and a pair of $20 clearance heels from T.J. Maxx that she fancied up with some craft store glitter. Bai has never looked more elegant! With that dress and that hair, she could be the long-lost sixth member of the Muses from Hercules (you know, the one who got kicked out of the group after she kept taking off her top and trying to dry hump Hercules).

Here’s more of Bai injecting some low-budget beauty pageant whimsy directly into the red carpet last night:

Pics: Splash,

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