When Gold Digging Goes Wrong: Demure British Flower Has A Baby With A Man She Thought Was A Famous Footballer

September 30, 2014 / Posted by:

If you haven’t already, curtsy in front of 24-year-old former escort turned aspiring glamour model (yeah, and I’m an aspiring Pulitzer Prize-winning, best-selling author) Josie Cunningham from England who allegedly got conned by a regular dude she thought was rich, famous footballer Curtis Davies, captain of Hull City. This is why Heather Mills should open up a community college for aspiring gold diggers, because these gold diggers really need to learn useful tips like how to do a thorough background check on a dude before you let him bareback bone an ATM baby into you.

Josie is sort of famous in the UK the way Backdoor Farrah is sort of famous here. This stunning weed plucked out of the garden of Jodie Marsh became a tabloid’s wet dream when she admitted that she got the UK’s National Health Service to pay for her $8,000 tit job and Botox injections by telling them that she was bullied for having a flat chest ever since the age of 14 and suffered from a sweating problem. Well, I guess you really get what you don’t pay for, because that is a section 8 tit job if I ever saw one.

But before I get into Josie’s tragic gold digger fail, let me get into more acts of fame whore foolery she’s pulled.

The Daily Mail says that when this owner of exquisite brows got pregnant with her third kid (yes, she’s already somebody’s mother) a few months ago, she became the frontrunner for British Mother Of The Century by publicly saying that she was considering having an abortion so she could go on Celebrity Big Brother.  Josie didn’t abort her baby for the sake of a reality shit show, but she did continue to bring the fuckery by selling tickets to the birth of her third child. The tickets apparently sold out in 14 minutes and made Josie $50,000 richer. The tickets were bought by journalists and a “superfan.” Josie later canceled the tickets to her live birth show when she found out she was having a girl. Josie also said that she set up a trust fund for her daughter’s future tit job.

Now that brings me to this mess getting conned. Josie’s name was all over the British tabloids this week when she cried out a WOE IS ME shit stream on Twitter because she thought the baby she was about to give birth to was fathered by Curtis Davies. But she found out the dude is a conman who tricked her into thinking he was Curtis Davies. The real Curtis Davies and Josie have never met.

Metro UK says that Josie met the guy on a dating site and he told her he was Curtis Davies. Josie didn’t believe him at first and she told him to “write a pin number on his cock and send me a pic with his face in.” Josie’s friends and family told her repeatedly that he wasn’t Curtis, but she still believed him. About 10 months after they started dating, she got pregnant with his baby and thought she was carrying a rich footballer’s kid. But a few days before she gave birth, she found out the truth and it made her go into early labor. Josie put it like this:

“When he first got in touch, I had only just been on the front page of a tabloid – I thought it was cool that footballer was getting in touch. I asked him to send some photos and he did, I searched the internet for them and they wasn’t online so thought the guy was genuine and not just stole the pictures off the internet. I said he looked familiar, and had he ever done modelling as he looked like a guy from a audition years ago, and he said he had and thought it was me he saw there. This is where it gets a bit crude…

I was originally concerned that this guy may be a fake, so I asked him to write a pin number on his cock and send me a pic with his face in. he sent me the picture and it was him. He looked IDENTICAL to the real Curtis – but turns put he is just a lookalike. I first met up with him in leister at a hotel, we got on well and I fell for him as a person. We wasn’t in a full blown relationship, so I didn’t see him too much, thats how he managed to keep the lie going. I know I’m not that clever. this guy was at the top his game. I could go into labour at any point, so trying to keep stress to a min – but I’m genuinely hurting inside.”

I just….I just can’t and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to can again.

Josie gave birth to her daughter yesterday and she’s thinking about naming her “Bunnylike another certain British rose did.

After all that, if you’re still not convinced that Josie Cunningham is a wonderful mother, a true genius, a perfect role model to all and a dispenser of pure class, here’s a tweet that will win you over:


Are we sure that Josie Cunningham isn’t an elaborate and multi-year-long performance art piece co-sponsored by  the UK’s Department for Culture and the State of Florida?

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