Out of the Anne Hathaway’s armpit, I want to know more about just what kind of porn we’re talking about here! Revenge porn? Err…so, not the kind that starts with a pizza guy delivering an extra-large sausage then.
Ann-WITH-AN-E-GODDAMN-IT Hathaway must have heard that only about 8.3% of humans surveyed are able to tolerate her faux-humble “gee shucks, a song? Now? I’m barely even warmed upSOME-WHAAAAAARE OVER THE RAAAANE BOOOOWWWWW!” theatre kid-on-crack schtick, because she recently explained to Elle UK (via E!) that yes, she understands she spent most of 2012 making eyes roll, but it’s not her fault! The A-list Oscar-winning “It came true“-whispering Anne Hathaway was the result of the real Anne Hathaway being dickmatized by a shady asshole named Fame:
“This fame thing? Fucked me up for a really long time. I didn’t know how to do it; I didn’t know how to engage with it; it stressed me out. And people would say, ‘You just have to be yourself,’ and I was like, ‘But I don’t know who that is yet!'”
Fame fucked me up too, but I’m talking about the movie Fame; guess what you’re not allowed to do at a normal high school? Climb on top of a table and dance.
But I feel like the low-budget Liza/high-budget Lea Michele thing is the real Anne Hathaway! It has to be! I don’t want to live in a world where Anne Hathaway isn’t constantly grinning like a hyperactive Broadway-obsessed middle school girl who just got her Phantom of the Opera Playbill signed by the understudy for Raoul.
Or maybe this is all a strategic move to become a new, more ~serious~ Anne Hathaway. Oooh, maybe she’ll even drop the E! “It’s Ann-without-that-dorky-E now. I’m not a goody-goody anymore. I say the f-word and wear dark lipstick. By the way, do you have any drugs? I smoke drugs now. Ann-no-E does them all – pot, grass, weed, I even smoked a cocaine once.”