The Twihards Are Still Pissed That Robert Pattinson Is Dating FKA Twigs, Start Trolling Her On Twitter

September 29, 2014 / Posted by:

Even though the Twilight saga ended almost two years ago and even though it’s been a million years since Robert Pattinson quit humping on professional scowler Kristen Stewart, there are still some crazy Twihard fangirls out there clutching at their Edward Cullen and Bella Swan barbie dolls and weeping salty sparkly tears over the news that RPattz has moved on to British singer-songwriter FKA Twigs.

But because Twihards are the definition of ‘stunted’, they’ve started going after Rob’s new girlfriend in an attempt to scare her away. Unfortunately, they’re not mailing her their tear-matted Twilight dolls with a note written in glitter blood that says “RPATTZ IS TAKEN, TRY TAYLOR LAUTNER”. No, they’re much crazier than that; they’re being racist assholes on Twitter.

Damn, these children need a time-out and no dessert for a week! Where are their mothers? If you have a grown daughter who is still wearing an Edward Cullen t-shirt to bed every night and drawing red apples on her sneakers and shit, you have a responsibility to monitor their online activity and make sure your delusional dum-dum daughter isn’t calling people’s girlfriends “monkeys” on Twitter!

Eventually FKA Twigs had enough of the flaming piles of shit Rob’s fangirls were leaving on her doorstep, so she called them all out for being racist pieces of trash:

Meanwhile, cut to all the pathetic RPattz fangirls furiously typing “@FKAtwigs you r unacceptable! you r the infection infecting my beautiful prince rpattz!!1!” while they crysturbate with their worn-out Twilight virbators.

You know, I’m not one for retaliating to trolls and haters online, but FKA Twigs has a great opportunity here to troll the shit out of the trolls. All she has to do is start tweeting shit like “Just smelled Rob’s hair – smells like an angel’s fart” or a pic of his armpit saying “This is where I snuggle – u jealous?” and just sit back and watch the RPattz fangirls lose their damn minds. The best part is they won’t be able to troll back, because they’ll be too busy collecting the pieces of their brains after their heads explode from rage. It’s a two birds/one stone situation. Problem solved!

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