If you’ve ever been to an Oktoberfest, you know it’s nothing but a beer-soaked sausage barf-scented MESS. Don’t ask me how many times I’ve seen a drunk guy who smells like sauerkraut farts piss into a tyrolean hat, empty the piss into the street, forget he pissed into it, and put it back on his head, because the answer is TOO MANY TIMES. Thankfully, there are still some people out there who treat the celebration of Oktoberfest as the important holiday that it is (Oktoberfest is beer’s birthday, right?). Case in point, Edona James. I was looking through some pictures from Day 7 of Oktoberfest 2014 in Munich, Germany, and every one was like eating a bratwurst topped with boring, boring, drunk, and boring, until I stumbled upon the soft-focus elegance of Edona James and her bony butt cheeks, and I was like “Dankeschön! Finally something worth looking at!”
I wasn’t familiar with Edona James before today, so I did a bit of research, and all I could find is this video describing her as an “Albanian who crossed the rainbow” (hot) her website, which is all written in Albanian (also hot), and several NSFW Instagram pictures proving that she’s every inch the stunning silicone-stuffed creature as I suspected she was. That’s probably why I couldn’t find any pictures of Germany’s current reigning queen of class and sophistication Micaela Schäfer at Oktoberfest; she knew she couldn’t compete with the high-levels of refined thong-flashing beauty and good taste being served up by the Albanian CoCo, so she stayed home.
Here’s more of your new life inspiration (I know she’s mine) at Oktoberfest yesterday. Pour one out for the St. Pauli Girl, because I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before she’s fired and replaced by Edona James: