Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One: Lauryn Hill Had A Shitty Show In London Last Night

September 21, 2014 / Posted by:

Every time I hear about former Fugees member Lauryn Hill taking a giant messy life shit, all I can think of is Sister Mary Clarence giving her a ‘good god girl, get your shit together’ face. According to The Independent, it all started when Lauryn Hill pulled a Lauryn Hill by showing up to her 8:30pm show at the O2 Brixton Academy last night an hour and a half late. DUH! It takes time to look like an Amish Project Runway Diana Ross.

Sensing that the crowd was starting to get impatient waiting for the elusive tax-paying chanteuse to arrive, Lauryn’s warm-up DJ Tieks decided to hype up the crowd by asking if any of them were from the West Coast…of America. A gesture that made no goddamned sense to the UK audience:

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Then when Lauryn finally showed up to the O2 Brixton Academy – one hour before they were scheduled to close – she apparently decided to perform all her songs as weird experimental remixes. Even if she had just played her shit properly (the people didn’t pay to hear you workshop your acoustic EDM reggae-jazz remix of “That Thing”, dammit!) it wouldn’t have mattered; according to The Independent, the sound quality was terrible. Of course, the audience responded by booing before taking to Twitter to hiss out some rave reviews of the show:





However, there was one person in the audience who clearly ~got~ what Lauryn Hill was going for and called out all the uncultured boo-yelling British ignoramuses for not understanding that what Lauryn was doing was ART:


It’s art, you dum dum stupids! When Lauryn decided to show up an hour and a half late to her show (excuse me, “music-inspired art installation”), she was making a statement on the perception of non-linear existence. And when she hired a not-smart DJ to warm up the crowd for her, that was to represent the symbolism of our failing education system. And when she sort of shrugged her shoulders in a “fuck effort” sort of way and just shat out a bunch of lazy remixes of her songs, that was an attempt to integrate the analogous world with the way contemporary society perceives truth. DUH!

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